Mahakutami in a grand mess

Things are going from bad to worse in the Mahakutamai as the debate over the contentious seat sharing issue threatens to tear the grand alliance right down the centre.
Angered wit the fighting over seats between the TDP (Telugu Deasm Party) and the TRS (Telangana Rashtra Samiti), ‘big brother’ CPM has decided to thrown its weight around, demanding that it be given more seats than the CPI. Understandably the smaller member of the Left Front, CPI does not like the idea and is seriously opposing the CPM overture. The CPI settled for 16 assembly and four Lok Sabha seats. But the CPM kicked up a tantrum on Wednesday, by going public with the list of 20 assembly seats it wants to contest. The CPM is insisting that it be given 20 if the CPI is being given 16.
Until then Naidu had been saying that he would be able to give the two left parties 16 seats each and not more. It is being speculated thatthe TDP chief has made a new proposition offering 16 Assembly seats to the CPM and offering 13 to the CPI. The CPI, is in no mood to give up and is insisting that it will not accept anything less than 16 assembly seats.
With three days left for filing the nominations the least we can expect is a few more twists to the tale. Long live coalition politics. If only we could have a reality show based on seat sharing in Andhra.

NTR flexes his muscles

Jr NTr has taken an unscheduled four day break from his whirlwind tour of the West Godavari. His spokesperson has sighted that the part Chief Chandrababu Naidu had directed NTR to take a break to attend to his deteriorating vocal chords. But the insiders have a different take on the developments. They say it is the fallout of an ego tussle between the father and son duo of harikrishna and Jr NTR.
NTR Jr and Harikrishna seem to be giving Chandrababunaidu sleepless nights. It all began when NTR abruptly halted his West Godavari tour for sometime in Bheemavaram. Naidu had to intervene to settle the issue before NTR started on his roadshow.
Bone of Contention
The candidature for the Gannavaram Assembly seat seems to be the bone of contention. Chandrababu Naidu cannot take the mercurial Junior NTR for granted came to light on Wednesday when the TDP star campaigner abruptly halted his road show for some time in West Godavari upon learning that his producer-friend Vamsi Mohan was denied the Gannavaram assembly ticket.
The y say that it all began in the morning when Naidu tried to pull a fast one by fielding Dasari from Gannavaram in order to pacify his brother-in-law (Harikrishna), tried to convince Vamsi to contest from Vijayawada Lok Sabha constituency against sitting MP Lagadapati Rajagopal. NTR had recommended that the Gannavarm seat be given to his good friend Vamsi. So when Junior NTR learnt about the development from his friend he did take the rebuttal very kindly. A stung Naidu spoke to Jr NTR assuring him that he would not finalise the Gannavaram ticket issue without consulting the actor. That it seems is the real story behind the Ugadi break. Clearly the Ugadi festivities are hitting a crescendo in the TDP.

The best of KCR

Here is a collection of jokes doing the rounds, with KCR in the focus.

The Intelligence Test
KCR visits Chandrababu Naidu’s house in Jubilee Hills. Over tea and snacks, he asks Naidu what his leadership philosophy is. Naidu says it is to surround himself with intelligent people. KCR asks how he would know if they are really intelligent.
“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says Naidu. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
KCR watches as Naidu phones Raghavulu and says, “Raghavulu Garu, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Raghavulu immediately replies, “It's me!”
“Correct. Thank you and goodbye, Raghavulu Garu,” says Naidu. He hangs up and says to KCR, “Did you get that, KCR?”
KCR nods: “Yes. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely adopt your philosophy.”
KCR goes home and decides to put his son Rama Rao to the test. He summons Rama Rao and says, “Son, your mother has a child, and I have a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
KCR’s son is puzzled and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?”
He goes back to his room and immediately calls a meeting of the TRS party executive, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, Rama Rao calls his cousin Harish Rao and explains the problem.
“Harish, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Harish answers immediately, “It`s me, of course.”
Much relieved, KCR’s son rushes back to his father and exclaims, “I know the answer! I know who it is! It`s our Harish!”
And KCR replies in disgust, “Wrong, it’s B V Raghavulu!”
* * * * *

KCR's Clock
A politician dies and goes to heaven. He stands in front of Yama and sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.
“What are all those clocks?”
“Those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your Lie Clock move."
"Oh. Whose clock is that?"
“That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved."
“And whose is that?”
"That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands have only moved twice."
"Where's KCR’s clock?”
"It’s in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan.”
* * * * *

Weighed Down
KCR runs into the departure lounge of LA International Airport to take a flight to Shamshabad. He jumps the queue at check-in. The officer stops him, “Wait, sir!”
“65 kg," says KCR.
* * * * *

Time Difference
KCR wants to go to Paris and calls up the tourism department to know the time difference between Hyderabad and Paris.
“Could you tell me the time difference between Hyderabad and Paris?”
“One second, sir.”
“Thank you," says KCR and puts the phone down.
* * * * *

Buffalo Rider
After becoming the CM of Telangana, KCR decides to pose for a picture. To show that he is down to earth, he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes, resting his elbows on the hindquarters of a buffalo. The photo appears on the front page the next day with the caption: “Chief minister K Chandrasekhar Rao (third from left)…”
* * * * *

Wedded to the Telangana Cause
KCR is hosting a Japanese delegation to Telangana. The head of the Japanese delegation says, “Telangana is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan.”
KCR replies, “Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Telangana.”
***

Bar- Ettiquette
KCR is in New York and goes to a bar. The man to his left tells the bartender, “Johnnie Walker, single.” And the man to the right says, “Jack Daniels, single.” The bartender looks at KCR., who says: “KCR, married.”
* * * * *

KCR- Shrewd Strategist
KCR: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: but I want to choose my own bride.
KCR: The girl is Ambani's daughter.
Son: Well, OK, yes.
KCR next goes to Mukesh Ambani.
KCR: I have a husband for your daughter.
Ambani: But my daughter is too young to marry.
KCR: This young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.
Ambani: "Ah, well, yes.
Finally, KCR goes to the president of the World Bank.
KCR: I have a young man to be recommended as your vice-president.
President: But I have more vice-presidents than I need.
KCR: This young man is Ambani’s son-in-law.
President: Great, yes!
***

E-Male?
KCR is invited to the USA by the Gujarati NRI Association. The president of the association receives him at the Chicago airport and they get into the car to go to the hotel. They start talking. The NRI begins to say how hectic things have become in the USA.
“Is country mein techonology itni tarakkee ki ki yahan sab log shaadi e-mail se kar lete hain.”
“Telangana mein to log female se shaadi karte hain.”
* * * * *

Wireless KCR
In the US, KCR meets Barack Obama. Obama says, “Come with me. I want to show you our technological advancement.”
Obama takes him a spot deep in the forest and says, “Dig here.”
KCR digs.
Obama says, “More, more, more...”
KCR digs 50 feet down.
Obama says, “So now, have you find anything?”
KCR says, “I found a wire!”
Obama says, “You see, we used to have telephones 200 years ago.”
KCR then invites Obama to Telangana. KCR takes him to a forest in Nizamabad and says, “Now I want to show you our advancement. Dig here.”
Obama digs 400 feet deep.
“Find anything?”
“There’s nothing here!”
“See, we had wireless 400 years ago.”
* * * * *

The Accident
KCR goes jogging and accidentally falls into a river. Three boys see him fall and jump in and drag him out of the water. KCR is grateful.
“Boys, you’ve just saved the champion of Telangana. You deserve a reward. Ask for anything you want.”
One boy says, “Golly! I’d like a ticket to Prasad’s Imax.”
“You got it,” says KCR.
“I'd like a pair of Nikes,” says another boy.
“I'll buy them myself and give them to you,” says KCR.
“And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," says the third boy.
“Son, you're not handicapped.”
“No, but I will be when people find out whom I saved from drowning.”
* * * * *

KCR- Child Prodigy
When KCR was a teenager, his father consulted a fortuneteller to know what his son would grow up to be. The fortuneteller told him give his son a test.
“Put a gun, a wad of notes and a bottle of liquor on a table. Watch what happens. If he picks up the gun, he is likely to be a policeman. If he picks up the money, he will be a thief, and if he picks up the bottle, he will be drunk most of the time.”KCR’s father did as told and waited for his boy to return from school. When the lad came home, he pocketed both the gun and the money and took a swig of the liquor. The puzzled father went back to the fortuneteller to ask the meaning of this.“Your son, is slated to be a politician.”

A few good men

It is decision time once again as Andhra Pradesh goes to poll this summer. In what promises to the most keenly contested elections in the history of the state, welfare agendas are dominating the pollscape like never before. Taking a cue from the populist measures of the ruling congress government every party worth it's salt promising the sky the electorate is faced with a real predicamant. It is raining freebies in Andhra Pradesh literally. In such an atmosphere the voters are left with no option but to fall back on the credibility of the men in charge and their ability to deliver on the promises made. Rajasekahara Reddy, Chandrababu Naidu and Chiranjeevi have emerged as the leading contenders for the coveted post of chief minister. Here is what I think makes them tick.

YS Rajasekhara Reddy
Cudappah’s near eternal choice for three decades, Rajsekhara Reddy was the only crowd puller in the state for the congress at the time when the TDP ruled the roost. The favourite son of the Rayalasema pulled of the impossible in 2004 by overthrowing the N Chandrababu Naidu when nobody gave him a chance. The congress stomped home on the back of his epoch making 1,500 km Padayatra across the state. In fact he went on record saying he would take “political sanyas” if he did come to power in 2004. Come to power he did by routing the TDP.
Five years on the chief minister has definitely made an impact.
So successful have been his visionary schemes - Rajiv Arogyasree, Pavala Vaddi and free electricity for farmers - that many states have introduced them. The mega irrigation projects taken up in the ambitious Jalayagnam when completed will surely be a testimony of his legacy for years to come.
Going into the elections without an alliance and facing a slew of allegations of corruption, if congress comes back to power in the state it will be a vindication of the vision of the Chief Minister.

N Chandrababu Naidu
A consummate backroom politician pulling the strings in the party founded by his mercurial father-in-law (NTR), Chandrababu Naidu went on to be the super star of Indian politics. Orchestrating a surprise coup over NTR, Chandrababu emerged as the poster boy of Indian politics by transforming Hyderabad into an IT-hub. Such was his popularity that he did that while administering the bitter pill of reform and jutting away from a 50-year diet of populism and socialism.
As it turned out, his vision proved to be his undoing as the his popularity took a beating among the farmers as the mounting debts pushed them to commit suicide with no help coming from his govt.
However, he seems to have learnt his lessons and has done a 180 degree turn on his reformist agenda. Taking a cue from the congress the Telugu Desam has pulled out all the stops by announcing a slew of freebies. He has also taken a detour from the “Samaikhya Andhra Pradesh” stand to team up with bitter rival KCR in a bid to regain power. He even mended fences with another old foe - the Left to string up the Mahakutami.
Surely Naidu is going for broke to salvage his political fortunes.

Chiranjeevi
He is the joker in the pack the dark horse. This matinee idol decided to take the cinematic plunge into politics keeping everybody guessing for months. But it was only going to be a matter of time as he built his image over the years with the highly publicized charity works, the blood bank being the biggest draw. Hailing from the politically marginalized Kapu community Chirajeevi hopes to ride home on the back of their support. He is also huge popular with the youth and has leveraged it with carefully planted support system of fan clubs all across the state.
Hoping to do another NTR with his mantra of “social justice,” Chiranjeevi has announced an array of freebies to keep every one happy. Drawing crowds by the hordes where ever he goes, the Praja Rajyam looks good to pull off a few surprises. But if the megastar is to be believed the Praja Rajyam is going to stomp home this elections. It will all depend on how much the people buy into his promise of a change with a capital c. At the moment it looks like an amazing movie script will have to await the people’s verdict.

My take:
It seems to that Rajasekhara Reddy is head and shoulders above the rest. Feel free to disagree and write in participate in the debate. Lets play the voting game AP.